Today I love: this video

Thanks to Nathan Bransford. OMG this is hilarious. Five minutes later and I am still laughing.

Oh, also.

I hate sloppy joes.

I love GONE and HUNGER by Michael Grant.

There have been discussions making the rounds on teh Internets about literary fiction vs. commercial, adults who read only mass market commercial YA and adults who read only Serious Books With Deep Themes.

Now, I love books. I love all books in a general way, and I'm going to brag and share that I own hundreds of books prominently displayed on fabulous built-ins. Neener neener.

My shelves include John Grisham and Franz Kafka, Madeline L'Engle and Phillip Roth. Giovanni Boccacio is right next to J.K. Rowling, and they share a shelf with Michael Crichton and Nathaniel Hawthorne.

But this post is about GONE and HUNGER, thought you? Well, yes. Yes it is.

I think I first heard about GONE when I noticed a comment by Michael Grant on someone's blog (and it was great, and I wanted to know more about him), so I followed it to Grant's blog, and then read a quote by Stephen King about his book on said blog. It's about a group of 14-year-olds that find their little California town covered by an invisible dome; and all of the adults are gone. Disappeared. Vamoose(sp?).

The book is chilling; a modern day Lord of the Flies, if you will, with Stephen King mixed in. The pacing is so compelling that I read close to 600 pages in about eight hours, with only the most necessary breaks in between.

Is it "kid's book?" Yes.

Is it a literary "kid's book?" No.

But is it awesome?

Most definitely.

Look. I consider myself a relatively smart chick. I read Thought Provoking and Intellectually Stimulating Books, and I also read books that have no intellectual value simply for entertainment.

I think GONE, despite the spare prose, is actually one of the former. It's hard to tell judging by the cover, and the book is written so tightly that it can seem like a guilty pleasure. But there are themes, and Grant doesn't beat you over the head with them.

So there you go. That's what I love today. Any of you have a favorite book (of the moment) to share?

Today I Loathe: schnitzel, the word cathartic

I hate both of these things very much.

1) The word "cathartic" sounds like catheter, first of all. Catheters are no fun. So how can catharsis be much better? Seriously, the word comes from ancient Greek and means "to purify, purge." A beloved family member likes to tell me that (s)he hopes my writing is cathartic. Yes, I write YA. No, I didn't like high school. But I don't write to purge my demons. I reserve all purging for my weekly exorcism. I write because it's fun and I crack myself up.

2) Schnitzel. How do I loathe thee. You are the lowest form of food, dry and bready and crumbly all over. Where is your juice? Your flavor? My hatred of you is self-explanatory given this picture.



What do you loathe today?

Today I Love: The Descent

Have you seen The Descent?

If not, you must remedy that immediately. As long as you're not reading this entry on a dark and stormy night. Because then it will just scare the crap out of you.

I love horror movies. I've loved horror movies since I was a little kid. Yes, they scare me senseless. I used to have to stop watching Labyrinth whenever David Bowie threw Jennifer Connolly's baby brother in the air. And the wheelers from Return to Oz? The fabulous Jim McCarthy of Dystel & Goderich Literary Management mentioned them last weekend and they have been tormenting my subconscious ever since.

So why do I watch them? Because it's fun. Being terrified from the safety of your sofa is fun. Drama is fun. Excitement is fun. Conflict is fun.

(See what I did there? I feel v. clever)

If you're a fellow writer, I highly suggest you go out and rent The Descent for an evening of claustraphobia and cave crawlers and a great example of "show, don't tell." It follows a group of strong, independent women as they go on a weekend spelunking adventure in Tennessee. The plot that could have easily devolved into the bad cave creature movie, entitled...well, The Cave. The two movies even came out the same year.

What's the difference between the two of them? Character development or lack thereof. Realistic vs. stilted dialogue. Masterful crafting of suspense vs. OMG GROSS MONSTERS AND GORE EVERYWHERES.

It's a writing lesson, says I. Watch and learn.

And for giggles, check out this hilarious video of a dancing crawler:

Today I love: Literary Agents.

Yes, all of them. Except the scammers. The scammers should be tarred and feathered and sued.

But the rest of them? They rock.

I went to the South Carolina Writer's Workshop this past weekend with my fabulous friend Stephanie (who just signed with the inimitible and awesomesauce Barbara Poelle of the Irene Goodman Literary Agency). While there, I chatted and/or attended sessions with:

Janet Reid, Fineprint Literary
Joanna Stampfel-Volpe, Nancy Coffey Literary Management
Suzie Townsend, Fineprint Literary
Barbara Poelle, Irene Goodman Literary Agency
Holly Root, Waxman Agency
Jim McCarthy, Dystel & Goderich Literary Agency
Scott Eagan, Greyhaus Literary Agency
Jeff Kleinman, Folio Literary Management
Jenny Bent, The Bent Agency
Matthew Mahoney, Ralph M. Vincenza, Ltd.

And they were fabulous. Informative. Hilarious. Encouraging. Realistic.

No, those last two adjectives are not oxymoronic. In every session I attended (and in many informal conversations I slithered into listened attentively to), the agents were extremely polite, respectful, and professional. Janet Reid affirmed again on her blog today that if you write, you are a writer. Period.

Does that mean everyone in attendence has written material of publishable quality?

Confucious say: No. And the agents were pretty clear about this. And I think that's a good thing.

If you're a literary agent, I imagine it's one thing to write on your blog about the types of things that don't work, are derivative, etc. I can't imagine it's as easy to explain to a writer to his face that you can't sell the 300,000-word book he's written about a girl who discovers she is actually a wizard, vampire, werebird and finds a magical wardrobe, amulet, toilet plunger that is really a portal to Hogwarts, Forks Cincinnati where she will have to battle MordyVold, carnivorous vampires a zombified Elvis.

But they do it. Literary agents go to conferences knowing that they'll be stalked approached by writers who read their blogs assiduously and bribe offer them chocolate and diet coke as tokens of appreciation for their sage advice. They know they'll be pitched novels in the bathroom, that eager writers will hand them copies of their self-published books accompanied by unrealistic expectations. They go to these conferences knowing they'll have to present for hours (sometimes without a break) and hear pitches and give critiques in between.

And they do all this without getting paid much to attend. They do it because they love books. They do it because they love writers.

So if you've written that 300k word book about Mary Stella Duck Botter and The Necromancer's Plunger and you don't get the kinds of responses you've been hoping for from agents? Don't hate on them in the comments sections of their blogs. Don't hate on them, period. Learn from them. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and write a better book the second time around. Their feedback is gold, so treat it as such.

What do you love today?

Hi thar.

Welcome to my blog.

There are a million lawyer blogs out there and even more writer blogs out there. So I'm not going to join the fray on either front. But here's what I will do:

Four days a week, I'll try to post about something I love. One day a week, I'll post about something I loathe.

It could be anything. I will keep you on your toes with my wild tastes and anti-tastes.

What about things I just like? Or things-I-don't-really-like-but-maybe-they're-not-so-bad? No. We'll have none of those shenanigans here. Why do things half-way? Go big or go home, I say.

And away we go.

The Unbecoming of Mara Dyer

Author Photograph